Never Let You Go Part 1
by Toga Yagari
Summary: When Toga's world collapses around him, he turns to his brother for guidance and the new nurse at the Hunter's Association for comfort...but what happens when things get too comfortable? Can he bear the burden of the guilt from losing a loved on whilst loving another? This story will be made into a sequel. Toga Yagari X OC's
1. Love and Loss

Toga Yagari was in his elements as he sat at his desk of the Hunters Association. He had finished writing up his report and set his pen down, letting out a relieved sigh. He flexed his shoulders and groaned at the stiffness. _"Damn all this paperwork"_ he thought to himself as he got up and walked over to the window. He looked down at the courtyard and saw a young girl training. He smiled a little. The young girl, Ami Mejai, was his new apprentice whom is currently training to be his new partner since Kojina left.

As he watched he barely heard the knock on his door "Toga?" a small voice called out. Toga turned to lay his eyes upon the warm face of his fiancée. "Annaliesa! What brings you here?" her eyes widened in guilt as she realized he was busy. "Oh! I'm sorry! You're busy! Don't worry about it"

Toga frowned in concern. Her behavior was odd. She usually argued playfully, used her bossy voice or teased him about something…but she didn't look like her usual self. She appeared timid. As though she was scared of him. She barely maintained eye contact with him. "Annaliesa?" he asked gently "Hey. What's wrong?" her hands shook as she clenched them together by her chest. Toga titled her chin up "Talk to me" she slowly lifted her gaze to meet his "I…we…I…I'm p-pregnant" she finally managed to utter. She was frightened of his reaction. She knew that sometimes he had children involved in his job as a Vampire Hunter and some missions he wouldn't get to the child in time; and when that happened she knew it always ate away at him. If they had kids, he was afraid that the same thing would happen. But as soon as Toga heard those words _"I'm pregnant"_ he was overcome with an unbelievable amount of joy that he just couldn't express with words; instead his lips came crashing down upon hers. His arms snaked around her waist pulling her against him. Annaliesa closed her eyes as she moaned into the kiss "…Mmm…" He loved hearing her tiny little moans in his kisses. He entangled his fingers in her hair as his other free hand moved to grip her waist, anchoring her to him. She gripped his shirt tightly, pressing against him. Their once passionate kiss turned into a fevered kiss of hunger. Annaliesa moaned softly – it was enough to drive him insane. He uttered a deep groan before gently pulling away. Annaliesa looked up at him, flustered and breathless. Toga smiled and gently caressed her cheek. "I love you" he murmured huskily "I love you too" she almost squeaked the words out.

"I'll…um…leave you to work now" Annaliesa spoke in such flustered tones that it made Toga smirk. "Quit smirking!" she snapped playfully before leaving the office room. Toga chuckled quietly to himself as he walked back over to the window to watch Ami training. She had good moves but she was repeating them too frequently. She needed some random moves thrown in to throw her of course and for her to be able to adjust sudden movements. Walking out of his office, he headed down to the courtyard and picked up a sword. Ami grunted as she spun around with her sword only to be blocked by Toga's sword. "Toga!" as much as she was surprised, she still resumed her attacking skills against Toga as he dueled her. Both grunted with each strain of movements. As Ami began to develop her blocking defences, Toga barely had time to throw her a few swift moves before they were both ambushed by Level E's. They came out of know where and began attacking the two hunters. Without a second's thought they both battled through the sudden ambush "Where the hell are they coming from!" Ami granted with each thrust of the sword in the Level E's. "Fight now, think later!" Yagari grunted back as he kicked a Level E down and pierced its heart with his sword.

"Hey brother, need any help?" Takeshi Yagari called out and his pulled out his gun and shot an oncoming Level E. Takeshi Yagari, Toga's big brother. "That'd help!" Takeshi chuckled at Toga's sarcasm. All three were fighting like there was no tomorrow watching each one of them turn to dust. Toga lowered his sword as the last of the Level E's turned to dust. Ami was panting heavily as she looked at the two brothers with wide and frightened eyes "…Yagari….? I thought this was a safe place…? I don't understand…" Takeshi frowned. The girl was weak. Toga looked at Ami "It was an ambush Ami. Most likely a part of Rido's plan" "It happens from time to time. Think of it as your chance to get stronger. You get a feel for how they think and what they do" Takeshi wanted to give the benefit of the doubt. His little brother seemed to believe the young weakling and his brother had good instinct, so he'd do the same. "…Except…It's happening more frequently now…" the male looked down at Ami. "Ami, go and inform the head master of Cross Academy, Kaien Cross that he'll be needing extra security for the school until this whole damn thing settles down. You" he pointed to Takeshi "Are long overdue for a meeting. We've got one in 10 minutes"

"Damn I hate those things" Takeshi sighed, annoyed. He hated meetings just as much as his brother did. Bunch of fools not knowing what to do in the boardroom. Yagari and Cross were always at each other's throats but Toga was always right, always had the ideas. "Alright You've got me. C'mon little brother" Takeshi smirked as he messed Yagari's hair. "Hey! Quit messin' with my 'do!" Takeshi chuckled but stopped when he noticed Ami hadn't moved from where she was standing. Takeshi nudged Toga's arm and indicated with his head towards Ami. Toga turned. "Hey kid. Don't worry. Think of all the lives you saved" "Yeah. Think like this: If you were a Level E, would you want to die? If so, you saved those poor souls from something they would have wished for." Takeshi said. "Poor souls!" cried Ami. "Poor souls! They are not poor! Don't pity such creatures that murder entire families!" she spoke with a lot of hurt in her voice that was also mirrored in her eyes. With that said, she turned around and stormed off towards Cross Academy.

"Feisty much?" Takeshi chuckled. "I think the Level E's spooked her a bit. Still can't figure out what the hell they're doing so close to the Hunter's Association though" Toga pondered out loud. "Dunno. I'll check it out" Takeshi grinned "I think your pupil will grow a liking to you. It happens all the time in the movies. She'll say she loves you and you won't know what to do because you're in love with Annaliesa. You should write a story about your life" Takeshi laughed to himself at his own idea "A sad love story. I'll so read it. See the gory details of what happens in the sheets" He winked. The younger brother laughed softly. "Keep a civil tongue, will you! Annaliesa will only ever be the one girl that I'll ever lay my eyes upon. No one else. Speaking of which, how's your love life?" Toga turned to Takeshi who shrugged. "It's alright. I hardly see her when I'm no longer on a mission. It's hard" he shook his head. "Don't let Annaliesa hunt. She's the only lover you will have without heartbreak. Remember, wolves mate for life. You are a wolf. Aggressive and protective" Takeshi nodded as he trailed off into his own small speech. "Yeah, I worry about Akimi. I want her to be safe but she won't listen to me. She never does. But that doesn't mean I worry to death about her. Sometimes I go to the extra mile of putting hidden security up for her sake. I'd sure hate to come home and find out that something had happened to her." "Hmm….No. The one thing I won't let Annaliesa do is hunt. Particularly now that she's pregnant" As the two hunters walked into the empty meeting room Takeshi yelled out in surprise "WHAT! Little Annie is pregnant!" Toga nodded. "But…you said you didn't want to have kids. Toga, you said so yourself. Those nights you'd come home drunk because of a child that you couldn't save on a mission…I see what that does to you and it breaks my heart to see you in such heartache…you'd be sobbing your heart out." "I don't remember crying" Takeshi could have facepalmed himself "That's because you were drunk!" the older brother bickered. "Alright! But this isn't about me. It's about Annaliesa and what she wants. I think I need this too. The child will have the most protective family ever. I've shown Annaliesa a few moves so _if _anything happens, she'll know what to do" Takeshi laughed. He could just imagine his little sister Annie annoying the hell out of Toga to get him to show her some moves. "Well I don't want her hunting either. She means everything to me because she belongs to you. I care about her too. I see her as a real sister and not as a sister-in-law"

The two brothers just chatted amongst themselves as all the other Hunters began piling in the room for the meeting.

As the meeting adjourned Takeshi spoke quietly "I noticed Ami didn't turn up. She looked so freaked about the Level E's. I wonder if she's not strong enough for this life…?" Toga ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. She's tough. I've seen her against Level E's and she won't put up with Cross's shit at the meetings either…but this time…it wasn't just a couple of Level E's, was it? It was an ambush. Something I hadn't readied her for" "Yeah but she's going to see a lot of that if she's going to choose this life. She needs to either leave or toughen up a bit more. This life isn't easy. She will be in danger and so will her loved ones. She'll be putting herself at risk all the time. Do you think she's ready for that? Can she handle such a life as us?" "She's aware of the risks and she's a good hunter. Like I said, I've seen her in action only today was something that I hadn't readied her for. Let me speak with her"

Takeshi shrugged. "You know her better than I"

The two brothers made their way to Ami's office. Toga knocked on the door but there was no answer "Ami?" he called out as he wiggled the doorknob to find it had been locked. She was inside but wasn't opening up. "Ami! Open the damn door!" Still there was no answer.

"Break it open" Takeshi said. Toga used the full force of his shoulder against the door and it burst open.

Ami was on all fours, gasping for air. She had induced a panic attack on herself "Get the nurse!" Toga barked an order at his brother. Takeshi ran out and called for a nurse. Toga was crouched down beside Ami "Breathe. Long steady deep breaths"

The nurse ran in followed by Takeshi who stood behind Ami's desk. "What happened?" Toga asked. "Am-bush…same…thing…happ-ened…be-fore…" Ami managed to gasp out. "Don't talk" the nurse ordered as she put an oxygen mask over Ami's face to help circulate the oxygen into her lungs. "I though you said she didn't have any loved ones?" Takeshi asked. Toga frowned. "They…were…am-bushed…my…dad…was…teach-ing…me…and died…my ….fam-i-ly...too…same…Le-vel…E's…mur-dered….." She took a deep breath before fainting "Ami!" Takeshi and Toga yelled out. "It's alright. She's fainted. The paramedics will be here soon." The nurse spoke calmly. "What's your name Miss?" Takeshi asked. "Ariel. Ariel Justice" "It's nice to meet you. I'm Takeshi and this is my younger brother Toga" Ariel nodded and looked away. Takeshi picked up a photo and looked at it for a long time. "What is it?" Toga asked "It's photo a photo of her family" Takeshi said as he showed the photo to Toga. "They were ambushed and murdered by Level E's. The same ones that ambushed us She was the only one who survived" Toga put the pieces of the puzzle together as the paramedics came in and put Ami on a stretcher wheeling her out again. "It's no wonder she froze up afterwards." Takeshi murmured. "Mr. Yagari?" the nurse asked. The two brothers looked at her. "Ah! I mean, Mr. Toga Yagari…I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. The paramedics confirmed the body of your fiancée. She's dead. The Level E's that got close the building attacked her first. I'm so sorry" Toga stared at Ariel for a long time before falling upon his knees and wailed "NO!" Takeshi grabbed his shoulders "Toga. Toga." He spoke in a firm voice. A soft hand rested on his shoulder "Toga?" Ariel spoke softly. Toga didn't respond to any of them. "Let's get him to his office" Takeshi said. Ariel nodded and helped pick Toga up. She helped him up by the waist. They eventually got him into his office and sat him on the couch. Takeshi crouched in front of him "Toga?" Toga raised his sad and empty eyes to his brother and burst into tears. Takeshi pulled him into a hug, his hand resting on the back of Toga's head. "I've got you. I've got you" Takeshi repeated. Eventually Toga sagged against his brother. Ariel was startled and made to move towards the collapsed Yagari "No. It's okay. He's just worn himself out from his emotions." Ariel breathed heavily. "Don't you go collapsing on me too" "No. It's not that" "Then what is it?" Takeshi asked as he lowered Toga against the couch. "I'll get a blanket for him" she said as she walked out and quickly went to find a blanket. Walking back in, she noticed how beautiful Toga Yagari was as he slept. Oblivious to what he had lost. She walked over and draped the blanket over him. "Thank you" Takeshi murmured. "He'll be okay." "Given time, yes. He really loved Annie. He just found out she was pregnant this morning. He's not going to get over this overnight." "I don't expect him to. But…he shouldn't dwell too much on it either" "Ariel. You barely know the man. He's my brother and I know him beyond anyone. He loved that girl like there was no tomorrow. We grew up with an abusive father and it caused his heart to harden and block out the good things in life such as love and life itself. But when we went to boarding, he was 8, I was 10 and he met her – Annaliesa. She fell over and he was the only one that helped her up and cleaned her wound. He smiled for the first time as a child. I wish it could have been me – his own brother that made him smile but it was her. There must have been something special about her. Over the years she slowly warmed his heart, made him smile and laugh. Made him live life. I always looked out for him. When they fought, when he came home drunk from a mission gone wrong…Together we were the trio. Unbreakable. Until now. He's going to need me now more than ever" "Annaliesa. She always looked so beautiful, so refreshing; whenever I saw her." "She was the most beautiful person in the world – according to Yagari here." he nodded towards the sleeping brother of his. "Would you like me to keep an eye on him?" Takeshi looked at Ariel. "If you wouldn't mind, it'd be great if you could help." Ariel nodded. Even though Takeshi's brother needed his full attention, he also had duties as a hunter and as a husband. He knew Toga would understand. Takeshi stood up and ran a hand through Toga's hair gently. "My dear brother of mine." He murmured before leaving the room.

Takeshi left Ariel with Toga as he walked to his office and completed some paperwork. "Babe? I heard about what happened to Annaliesa. Are you okay?" Akimi walked in, Takeshi's wife. Takeshi shrugged. "It's not me who should be grieving" "She was as much as your sister as Toga is your brother. You have every right to grieve." "It's just not fair, you know?" Takeshi set the pen down as his emotions overtook him "My brother finally had something to smile about, a life to enjoy and now it was destroyed." Akimi walked over to him "Did you know she was even pregnant?" he spat out in a whisper. Akimi's eyes widened as she embraced Takeshi in a hug. He buried his face in her stomach as he cried. Tears slid down Akimi's face but she held strong for Takeshi's sake. He didn't need her to be weeping and needing comfort as well. "Let's get you home babe." Akimi said as she pulled Takeshi up and guided him home


	2. Light in the Darkness

As Ariel watched over Toga for the night she couldn't help but notice how beautiful he was. She let her mind wander of his sleeping form. His cold hard yet warm features of his face, the way his eye lashes fluttered just above his cheekbone as he slept. The perfectly shaped fingers; nice and strong but calloused. The way his whole body just seemed to curve naturally in any move that he made. She was snapped out of her daydreaming thoughts when she noticed his fingers twitching and his breathing had deepened into shallow but gasping breaths. She moved closer to him and rested her warm hand on his forehead "It's okay...It's okay…It's just a nightmare…" she murmured softly. Eventually his breathing calmed down and he fell into a peaceful sleep. She stayed there watching over him for 3 hours until she was satisfied that he would be sleeping peacefully for here on in. She needed to rest to. She went back to her office and shut the door but left it ajar so she could keep an eye on him.

When the next morning came around, Toga buried himself in paperwork. Ariel paid him a visit. "Mr. Yaga-" "It's Toga." "Toga. It's Saturday. You shouldn't be working on a Saturday." "Where else am I supposed to go? Go home? To what, an empty house? No. I need to focus on something. I refuse to allow myself to evolve into darkness and to be consumed by grief." "You can't live at the Hunter's Association" she stated. "I have headquarters at Cross Academy where I can stay" "You work at Cross Academy! I'm also the nurse there." She said happily. Toga just stared at her. Not impressed by it all. "Sorry. I-" "Ah Toga! You're up bright and early as usual!" Takeshi's voice boomed in the office. "Enchanted to stumble upon you again, Nurse Justice" Ariel blushed and moved aside for the two brothers to have their time to talk. "Leave the girl alone and focus on your own wife." There was still hurt in Toga's eyes. And it was to be expected. "Right. I just came around to let you know that Akimi and I will be dealing with your Estate. I figured you wouldn't be up to it." "Thanks" Toga said quietly. "Don't mention it. No doubt you'll be staying at the Teachers Headquarters?" Toga nodded. "Right. Well, I'll get a move on then. See you around little brother" Takeshi walked out of the office.

"Is there anything you need Toga?" Ariel asked. "To bring back the dead." He replied coldly. _"He's hurting. He just needs someone nearby – just in case" _Ariel thought to herself. "Well I'm afraid that's impossible. But you know something. Those who love us, never truly leave us. Not really. They'll always be in your heart. You'll always carry a piece of Annaliesa wherever you go." She said as she walked out. Toga allowed her words to sink in and realized how damn true they were. He looked out the window. Raining. Typical weather for one so cold and weary. He rubbed his eyes and continued on with his paperwork. It wasn't until lunch time that Ariel popped in with some Baguettes. "Figured you'd be working throughout your lunch break. Thought you might need a break" She felt embarrassed. This is what couples do for each other at work. Not a hunter and a nurse. But still, she couldn't help but feel it was so good. "Ah…thanks Nurse Justice" "Oh please. It's just Ariel." "Ariel." He corrected himself. She set down his baguette and a cup of coffee and went to leave the room when his somewhat lost voice stopped her "You're leaving?" "I thought you might like to eat in peace" "You think too much girl. I wouldn't mind the company if you have nothing else to do." He met her gaze. She almost burst into tears. He looked so sad. So lost. Like a young child. All she wanted to do was wipe away any pain. She smiled "I'd love to join you for lunch!" she sat down at his desk and began eating. Toga set his pen down and pushed his papers aside and began eating with her. "So, you're brother's taking care of things for you? He seems like a nice brother to have." "Yes. He's always looked after me. Just as I do when him and Akimi are always at each other's throats. He always comes over and we just rant on about one thing or another. We'd just sit at the table drinking coffee and talk for hours" Ariel listened as Toga talked passionately about his brother. Life was back in his eyes and he seemed to have happiness put back in his strong velvety voice. Ariel smiled. "Wish I had a brother like that." Toga chuckled. Ariel and Toga talked about different kind of things. It wasn't long before a couple of hours rolled by.

Takeshi walked to Toga's office but heard the life in Toga's voice. He stopped and listened. Smiling as he listened to his brother. After all that has happened Toga still managed to smile and laugh. The girls voice…was that Nurse Justice? Who cares. Toga had laughter restored in his body, life in his throat "And a brother who loves him!" Takeshi walked in announcing his last thought. Toga looked at him "What the hell you are on about man?" Takeshi chuckled. Everything's sorted so when you're ready you have a new home awaiting for you at Cross Academy. "Thanks" "Don't mention it" "No. I mean it." Takeshi smiled. "I know."

The day rolled by and Takeshi and Toga went over paperwork together. Things had quietened down at the Hunter's Association but Takeshi always made sure Toga wasn't alone. It was either him or the nurse, Ariel keeping him company. The clock rolled around to 5pm and Takeshi groaned and stretched. "Enough for today Togie. This paperwork is so much of a burden!" Toga chuckled. Takeshi only used that nickname "Togie" when he was really whiny about something. "Go home then. I'll finish up" "No no, I'll stay and help" "Takeshi. Go home. Akimi has been back from her mission, you guys hardly see each other. Now's the time to make up for all that lost time." Toga began to put the guilt-trip on. "Family is important. They could…" "Alright, Alright! I'm going. Why don't you come home with me?" "No. The sooner I can get this done, the sooner I'm on top of everything for next week." "Okay then. Well see ya!" "Bye"

As Takeshi walked out he made a trip around to the Nurses Office. "Ariel, I'm off. Keep an eye on him" "Will do" "and thank you. For today. He's never been so lively when he talks. There must be something special about you" "Oh no! No there isn't. He just needs people around him. That's all" "mmm. Well, Goodnight!" "'Night"


	3. You're Going To Be Okay

Over the duration of the next couple of hours, Ariel came in with coffee as an excuse to check up on him. She was sitting in her office when Toga walked in. He looked out of sorts. Pale and scared. He just walked in and sat down without a word. "…Nightmares won't stop….Don't know what to do…So scared at night….I'm so scared to close my eyes…." He began shaking and in less than a second, Ariel was by his side. "Toga. It's okay. It's okay to be scared." Ariel has had her share of violent nightmares to which she still carries the scars from so she knew exactly what he was going through. "Please…just make them stop…" By now he was shaking, trembling against her embrace and pleading helplessly. Nothing could be done. Ariel had her arms wrapped around him with his face pressed into her neck. "I can't do this anymore Ariel! I can't!" "Yes you can Toga. You've got to hold on to those memories you shared. They are what's keeping you going these past few days. I know it stings at the sight of her smile but one day you will be glad you have those memories. They are the ones that will have saved you"

Toga rested his head against the crook of her neck as she reassured him. He listened to the sound of her voice, breathed in her calming scent and enjoyed the gentle caring caress of her touch.

This happened throughout all of the following week. During the days he'd be fine but at nights, it was different. He was scared, he was grieving and he didn't go to the funeral. What was the point when there was no body to bury? The Level E's devoured her mercilessly.

It was the 10th night that he walked into Ariel's office. "Toga? Is everything alright?" Toga nodded but didn't say anything. She walked over to him and sat him down. "What's going to happen?" He wasn't asking anything in particular but she always said the words he needed to hear. "You're going to be okay. That's what's going to happen." He bowed his head. What a complete mess he had become. What a fool. He hated himself for not being strong enough to cope with this on his own. He relied on his brother's guidance and Ariel's comfort to get him through this dark patch in his life. Ariel pressed her forehead against his. "It's going to be okay" she murmured. Toga lifted his face up to hers; their lips were centimeters apart. Ariel's lips grazed his as she looked up at him and in the instant moment; Toga pressed his lips against hers. She kissed him back. His arms wrapped around her pressing her against him. She moaned softly at his warm lips pressed against her cool warms. She rubbed her thigh against his and his hand trailed down to hold her to him. He pressed against her and she moaned loudly. It was enough to send him over the edge. He lowered her down onto the hospital bed that they were sitting on. He hovered over her as she lay beneath him. That night changed. That night he took her and both became one through soft moans and gasps.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that" Toga apologized as he sat up after their passionate moment. "Yes you should have Toga. You need to listen to your heart. Don't deny your feelings" "No it's not that." "Then what?" she asked, confused. "You were a virgin, weren't you? I would never have done…I shouldn't have…Why didn't you tell me that you were a ….Why didn't you stop me?" he asked. "Because I wanted to. I wanted you to be my first" She blushed deeply. "I know it sounds so wrong but…my feelings for you…I fell in love with you…." Toga sat there as he listened. "Ariel…My feelings for you…deepened…over time but I can't…I'm not ready to say that I …." "It's okay. You don't have to tell me you love me. You need to do it when you're ready. But for now…" She raised her hand and caressed his cheek "…all I can do is show you how much I love you…" He once again lowered his head and kissed her deeply.

He finally had a chance to speak to his brother "Takeshi?" "Mm?" "What happens if I develop feelings for another?" "Toga. It's okay. You're allowed to. Just because Annaliesa has gone doesn't mean you can't stop loving others. The only person holding you back is yourself." He studied his brother for a bit "It's the nurse isn't it?" Toga nodded and Takeshi smirked. "I knew it! She's a good match for you" "But I feel guilty….I still love Annaliesa…" Ariel butted in as she walked past "And that's okay. I don't expect you to ever stop loving her or hiding her away" she pulled out a photo frame of Annaliesa that Toga had put away "Her existence saved you. She meant an awful lot to you Toga. Just because you're with me, doesn't mean you have to hide the ones you love" Toga walked over and pulled her into a hug. His voice thick with emotion "Thank you" His fingers entangled in her hair. Takeshi smiled at the new couple. A new love.


End file.
